Patrick Alan

Oh yeah! It’s a kitten pic, coming live to you from the Patrick Alan blog. Word!

This is George. Fortuantely, he’s not a cat, because I’m not a big fan of cats. I mean, sure. They’re cute. They’re furry. They rub up against your leg and when you reach down to pet them, they run away. I swear it’s their way of dealing with the lack of toilet paper in the litter box. Don’t touch me! I’m just wiping my ass on our leg.

But not George. George is the first cat I have lived with that I like. Ok, he’s still a kitten, but he is awesome. George has rules. George wants me to sit in my chair and pet him, but not like a cat, like a dog. Dogs you don’t pet, you pat them. You beat them. Give them a big squeeze and thump them like you would after giving a manly hug which includes a few whacks on the back. Men can’t hug if there isn’t some sort of impact. Chest bumps are acceptable, too.

George likes this, too. I can poke him in the ear. He likes that. I can pull his tail. He thinks it’s funny. He fetches certain types of toys, or rather things that have become toys - like my $20 magnetic wristband that cures common ailments such as fatwallet.

Yes. George is awesome. He is fat and funny. And he is not a cat. I suspect dog. Maybe martian.

I know there are words on this page, but why? Just look at the kitten picture.

This is totally my neighborhood. We’ve been laughing about this video for days now. It’s completely us.

Hey, I was googling around and saw this come up. Actually, I saw it a while ago, but never got around to posting it. This isn’t me. I’m not unfamiliar with a guitar, but it isn’t me. Just want to make sure there isn’t any confusion, because I know my about page says I was in a band at one point.

I sort of feel like I should post a clip of me with a guitar, but it’s been a while since I’ve played.

Anyway, not me. Not that I thought anyone was really confused.

I’m an extrovert.* That might be unusual for a writer, but I am.

Everything to me, outside of eating and going to the bathroom, are team sports. Eating and peeing are simply competitions that I like to win on my own.

I can’t even trim the bushes in my front yard without going over to my neighbor to look at what he’s done with his, or dragging him over to look at my latest plan in home improvement. I need to be around people.

With writing, short of collaborations, team work is the critique partner or first reader. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out a writing process that works for me and also studying others to see what works for them.

From what I see, most successful writers have a partner or team. I see my mentors, Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Kathryn Rusch (they’re married). Everytime I think of that duo, I look at my wife and wonder why she hasn’t bothered to become an award winning editor and author.

See, a spouse as a first reader makes sense. You’re both financially invested in the success of a book.

Then you have the critique partner. That is a trade of services. An equitable trade in services in the ideal world. This is probably much harder to find than a spouse, yet easier to find than an award winning one. Well, writerly award winning, at least.

I have a friend who has a co-worker for a first reader. That’s one that always seems a little weird to me.

It reminds me of an episode of Bones, when Bones was talking about Angela being her first reader and Booth told her she should pay Angela.

It’s just a weird dynamic to me. I think Booth was right. Yet at the same time, I would think it inappropriate if Angela charged a fee up front.

I think that finding the right reader, partner, or group is probably the hardest thing and the best thing once you’ve found them.

I’m just curious, who is your reader/partner/group and how did you find them? How do you work? Completed manuscript? Sharing right from the beginning? Chapter by chapter? What sort of feedback do you like? Grammar checking? Plot holes?

My wife refuses to put the effort in to becoming an award winning editor, so I am now looking into other options. I think it’s a really really good option that I probably should have taken a while ago. There’s some inherent laziness though.

*I may at times appear to not be an extrovert. Consider the situation. I sometimes SHOULD be quiet. I am showing restraint. Enjoy the seemingly shy quiet me while you can.

There are always some discussions going on about not being able to make a living as a full time writer.

First I get hung up on ‘making a living’. My wife couldn’t ‘make a living’ as a full-time teacher. She needed a second income in the family to support her teaching hobby…

I always find it funny that people think writing one book a year should be considered a full time job. Just because some books earn a wage that consitutes a full-time job, writing one book a year doesn’t mean it is.

Let’s do some simple math. Let’s use these conservative numbers.

100k words = book.

Say, three full drafts for completed novel. 300K words.

Let’s give a writer 500 words per hour. That’s a really conservative number, in my opinion. You know I have that whole 1000 words per hour thing.

Full time job is 40 hours per week.

300,000 / 500 / 40 = 15

15 weeks to write a book. That’s a seasonal job.

Or to look at it a different way, there are 46 working weeks in a year when you subtract (U.S.) holidays and vacation time.

300,000 / 500 / 46 = 13+ hours per week.

I am pretty sure 13 hours per week is still considered a part time job.

A full time writer should be writing three books per year. The only challenge in that is actually selling 3 books per year. This is where cross-genre, pen names, work-for-hire, etc enter the equation. And with new technology, new opportunities are popping up all over the place.

To me, anyone who doesn’t understand this, doesn’t understand what it means to be an entrepreneur. To be a freelancer. To be self-employed. These are people who believe a living wage starts at six-figures.

Sorry. You want to be self-employed? You have to hustle. Get over it.

All that said, I still have the Harper Lee dream. I’d like someone to give me a year’s salary to take a year and write my book and then have that book become pure gold.

I always imagine this conversation.
Person: “What do you do?”
HL: “I wrote a book once. It was a good book.”

It’s official. I am going. I waffled on this one quite a bit. If it wasn’t in Orlando, I wouldn’t be going this year. I’ve wanted to attend for a few years, but I’ve had the goal of a finished salable novel as a prerequisite. I’m not quite there yet.

Next year is New York City. I love that Marriott Marquis, so I’ll probably be going next year, too. But that one, I’ll hold myself to the must have novel completed.

Here’s my plan. I’m going to go to the conference and blend into the background. No one will really even notice I am there. I just want to quietly absorb everything I can.

I might have to wear my Julia Roberts look to blend in. What do you think?

If you happen to notice me hiding in the corner, approach gently. I could be a bit overwhelmed.

Here’s something bouncing around in my head.

One of the things about being unpublished and being a part of the writing community is for people to get to know your work. Let’s face it, at some level, we all size up other writers. We do it in all careers, so in this, writing is no different.

Published writers are easy to figure out. Pick up a book of theirs. Check out their sales. Check number of books published. Whatever. But for unpublished writers, we’re just a mass of aspirants with no real differentiators. Our critique partners are the ones who know our current skill.

Ok. Warning. This is going to be a long rambly post in which I eventually get to the idea that I am debating putting up a couple of short stories on the Kindle and/or Smashwords. Let me continue the ramble now.

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Here’s the thing. I always want to know how/what someone writes. Sure, blog posts are a sample, in a way, but that doesn’t really identify me as a writer of fiction, unless you don’t believe the pool is real. (do you think I am that good with photoshop?)

Kris Rusch recently posted in her Freelancer’s guide about how easy it is to give up on yourself. In terms of writing, that’s generally how self-publishing is looked at. Here are the two posts on the topic.

http://kriswrites.com/2010/06/03/freelancers-survival-guide-giving-up-on-yourself-part-one/
http://kriswrites.com/2010/06/10/freelancers-survival-guide-giving-up-on-yourself-part-two/

I’m assuming you’ve already read them, so I’ll continue. The thing is, self-publishing is becoming viable, whether for re-issue of books that have reverted back to an author or for books that were orphaned during their initial print run, and other similar scenarios. I see self-publishing as a very viable tool for the Traditionally Published Writer Without Stigma.

For the likes of myself, the unpublished masses, it’s a dilemma. Am I giving up or pursuing a lesser path? NY is so slow. Is it my impatience that shows when I self-publish? Who says I am really ready?

I admit, whenever I meet someone online, I check their credentials if they claim they are a writer. I generally put aspirant over someone who is only self-published(again, different category from someone supplementing traditional publishing career.).

So here’s my dilemma. I’m sitting on some short stories. These are professionally edited short stories. They were essentially purchased for invite only, written on spec, themed anthologies, but the anthologies themselves never sold, even though the editor had a history of selling two per year. Honestly, I can’t tell you the elation and the crushing defeat of that combination. Yay! NO! Sad face. I really didn’t expect either scenarios. I knew a lot of the other writers that were invited, many multi-published.

I have every intent of self-publishing these short stories and a couple others AFTER I publish a novel through a traditional publisher. Actually, probably just after it is sold, not waiting the year or two until it is in print.

So, why not now? If you asked me three years ago, should an unpublished writer have a blog? I would have said no, yet I made one. Had no idea why either. The main goal was learning how to create a blog. My blog content is questionable at best.

I’m sort of tempted to publish them, just to try Amazon self-publishing and Smashwords. Tempted, but still remaining patient. Yes, I am unpublished. I’m ok with that moniker.