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Hello.

Welcome to my Internet home. Undoubtedly I have said something somewhere on the Internet that made you wonder who the heck is this guy and why would he say that.

Right. Me.

This is me. Currently, I don’t have the goatee or the hat on. I may have added a few extra pounds of cheek fat, too. Also, I am not coaching any baseball teams.

I believe the children are the future. Teach them well and… Wait. No. That’s not.. uh.

Ok. So. I write. I am a member of RWA and RWA Chapters STAR and YARWA. I have been attending writing workshops and conferences for many years now.

My writing is influenced by all writers that I have read over the years and I read widely, but I would say some prominent ones are David Eddings, Robert Jordan, Douglas Adams, Robert Asprin, Audrey Niffenegger, Mark Twain, John Grisham, Nelson DeMille, Carl Hiaasen, JK Rowling, Dan Brown. and many, many others.

Right now, I am probably most known for starting #1k1hr on twitter. I explain it here. I’ve published a short story. I keep a link to it over on the right. I am often found on twitter (@Patrick_Alan).

I’m happy to play chess with anyone and usually have 12 games going at a time. Feel free to join and invite me to a game. If you follow me on twitter, uh, well, I say anything. I try not to, but it’s so easy.

If you are here, I have probably offended you. I am offended that you are offended. Wait. No. I am deeply apologetic. Really. I love everyone. I don’t take anything seriously or personally. Well, unless it is serious and personal. I’m also very shallow. I’m so shallow I’m deep.

I believe life will always be Happily Ever After because life is what you make it.

I’m a husband and a father. That’s what I love doing the most, but I am also a computer geek by day. I’ve explained what I do to other computer geeks and they don’t get it, so I won’t try. I’m a former stand up comedian. You probably stopped reading shortly after the picture, so I don’t know why I am still typing.

If you want to tell me I am funny, you can buy my short story on amazon. That encourages me. It’s token. I don’t need the money. By the time I am a full time writer, I will be retired and could also be a full time amateur golfer. But, that $.99 makes me smile. Heck, leave a review on the Amazon page. That makes me smile, too. Bunnies also make me smile, but do not send me any bunnies.

Thanks. You are AWESOME!