Patrick Alan

Today, I’m on the horse. I showered with Old Spice and I lost twenty pounds — of fru-fru smelling girly soaps — immediately.

All of my writer friends, think of your Hero, then think of me. If you want to make your book better, make your hero more like me. It is fantasy after all.

Now, think of your book cover. Wouldn’t your cover be better if I was on it? I am renewing my quest to be a Romance Novel Cover Model, but now — I want to be on a horse.

Think of how many books you would sell if I was riding a horse on the cover of your book.

You may think the hero doesn’t look like me and never rides a horse.

Irrelevant — though you should consider making him look like me. The horse wouldn’t hurt either.

When they see me on the cover riding a horse, they will hear music and Rock God Chris Cornell singing about how awesome I am and that will compell them to buy your novel.

And that is why you should put me on the cover of your book.

Call your editors.

You might refer them to some samples here.